


i think i loved you, once

by loveless_klark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, F/F, First Dates, Flashbacks, Flirting, Lawyer Echo, Possibly Unrequited Love, Reconciliation, Tattoo artist lexa, Tattoos, Time Skips, its complicated, not that it matters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29873562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveless_klark/pseuds/loveless_klark
Summary: Echo runs into a familiar face, a once friend, a past lover. Or maybe they don't need to be past lovers anymore.-“You’re more familiar. I’ve seen you since.” Echo didn’t need to specify sincewhat.Lexa dipped her head. “I was at your bedside when you woke up for the first time.”Oh.But-“Then why haven’t I seen you since?”
Relationships: Echo/Lexa (The 100)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8
Collections: TROPED: Madness 2.0





	i think i loved you, once

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best work ever, but it will do I suppose. The time jumps were definitely a bit ambitious, but I think I like it.
> 
> Enjoy

_ It was too bright. _

_ Colors blurred all around her, piercing through the blackness that had folded her in. She heard shouting, heard someone beside her, saying something, but she couldn’t hear a word. _

_ She could feel gravel scraping at her skin beneath her. Why was she laying on the street? She couldn’t remember. She had a distant memory of tires squealing, a loud splintering crash, heat all around her. Pain. She could remember pain. She knew she should be in pain. Her body felt numb, her head pulsing, and she could taste blood on her tongue. Her hair was sticking to her head uncomfortably. She wanted to reach up, but she couldn’t move. _

_ Something brushed her skin, and she felt like she was floating upward, lifted into the sky. The movement made her head spin, and suddenly the blackness was too hard to resist. _

_ She let go, and with it let go of the memories she knew and loved. _

**19 October 2019**

Echo was normally a very observant person.

She picked up on all the little details, noticed things others didn’t. She didn’t do it on purpose, most of the time. It was just something she did. 

Except for when she didn’t even notice that she was about to collide with someone on the sidewalk.

Echo cursed as her shoulder knocked against something, heard a sharp exhale as the other person stumbled backward. Echo reached out to steady them, hands grasping onto their arms. The long brunette locks triggered a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she brushed it off. 

Echo started to apologize, hoping for a quick exchange of words so that she could continue on her way, and forget about the fact that she let herself get so distracted she didn’t even notice another human being coming at her (which despite being no big deal Echo still found herself slightly embarrassed by. Or maybe she was just disappointed in herself). The words sat on the tip of her tongue before they looked up, and every thought fell out of her head.

That face.

She knew that face.

And if the shell-shocked expression on theirs said anything, they knew her, too.

And  _ fuck _ , Echo knew what that meant.

They were from before.

So Echo took a deep breath, steadying herself for the interaction ahead. She didn’t want to. Meeting people from  _ before  _ was always awkward and stiff. They gave her pity she didn’t want. She gave them answers they didn’t want to hear. It was difficult to explain to people that sorry, you can’t remember barely anything from before two years ago because your brain was scrambled in an accident.

Which despite as much as she wanted to tell people off like that, she didn’t. Because Echo  _ was  _ polite. Most of the time.

And it was that politeness that made her steel her resolve.

“I should know you, shouldn’t I?”

Echo could see their face fall, the hope in their eyes flicker out. Fuck. That was exactly what she wasn’t hoping for. “I didn’t expect you to.”

And that surprised her.

Most people didn’t know about her accident. It wasn’t like she remembered who should know about it, after all. And she didn’t like making a big deal out of it. She doesn’t remember her life before the age of twenty-two, so what? She’d gotten used to it. And that was really all that mattered.

Glancing over them, looking over the smoothly sculpted lines of their face, Echo got the feeling that they were more than just a faint memory of her past life. They had to be. How else would they know? She told them such, hoping that it wouldn’t backfire. “You’re more familiar. I’ve seen you since.” She didn’t need to specify since  _ what _ .

They dipped their head. “I was at your bedside when you woke up for the first time.”

_ Oh _ . Echo could faintly remember. Could recall the beeping of hospital machines, someone’s palm warm in her grip, a gentle voice talking to her, saying things she couldn’t understand. But if they were important enough to be at her side in the hospital- “Why haven’t I seen you since?” 

They visibly tensed. Echo pursed her lips. She knew why. 

“Because I didn’t remember.”

A sigh. “No, you didn’t.”

**8 May 2014**

_ “You look like you need cheering up.” _

_ Echo twisted around, frowning at the pretty brunette staring at her with a confident smirk. “Excuse me?” _

_ She held up a cup of coffee, looking at her with an intense gaze that Echo found herself both intimidated and intrigued by. “I bought these for my friend and me, but you look like you might need it a bit more.” _

_ “Are you seriously hitting on me?” Echo scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.  _

_ The woman shrugged. “Maybe I just wanted to be nice.” _

_ “You’re hitting on me.” _

_ The woman laughed, loud yet gentle. “Are you going to turn me down?” _

_ Echo cocked her head to the side, as if considering. In all honesty, she did want to accept. Her morning hadn’t been the best. Classes were a pain as always, and she’d woken up late, so just to add to that stress. A coffee would be nice. But Echo was too stubborn to just accept it. “I don’t even know who you are.” _

_ “Lexa Woods.” Lexa stretches out one of the cups to her. “Now will you accept?” _

_ “You’re determined.” _

_ Lexa grinned. “I just know what I want.” _

_ “Oh? Do you now?” Echo took the cup from Lexa’s hand, their fingers brushing momentarily. “What, pick the first pretty bitch you saw?” _

_ “Oh, you’re more than just a pretty bitch.” Lexa brought her own cup up to her lips, eyes boring into Echos over the rim. “I noticed you a while ago. You have that look in your eye.” _

_ “That look?” Well, if Echo wasn’t already intrigued.  _

_ “Yes. You look like you know where you’re going. You know what you want. You have confidence, I can tell.” Lexa’s head tilted, brown hair spilling over in hypnotizing waves. “I don’t see many people like that.” _

_ “Really?” Echo knew what she looked like. Not the prettiest face, cut in a way that made her look almost frightening to people. She liked it, in some ways, having that natural edge. But it also made her job harder. No one wanted to pick the scary-looking girl. “I find that hard to believe.” _

_ Lexa huffed out a laugh. “I think I can help with that.” _

_ “Subtle.” _

_ “Wasn’t trying to be.” Lexa adjusted her purse with her now-free hand. “What’s your name?” _

_ “Echo.” _

_ “No last name?” _

_ “I don’t care for mine.” Her family didn’t deserve to be connected to her. Her brother, Roan, was the only person she liked from home, and he’d cut off all ties to everyone except her. Echo hoped to do the same soon.  _

_ Lexa just nodded, didn’t push. “I’ll see you around, Echo.” _

_ Echo scoffed. “Maybe.” _

_ She hoped so. _

**19 October 2019**

“Lexa,” Echo mumbled, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face from her memory conflicted with this one, the confident sheen no longer appearing, replaced with something more- desperate. It sent a pang of hurt through her chest. Had her loss really affected this woman so much? “You’re Lexa.”

Lexa gave her a small smile, looking like she was struggling to keep her composure. “You do remember?”  
“Not very much.” Looking at the hope-filled eyes of the brunette, Echo realized that the relationship they two had once had might have been more complicated than she expected. She’d thought friends, maybe, close friends. But the look on Lexa’s face was something more than that. Something beyond that. She was hesitant to give it a name. “We were close, weren’t we?”

Lexa’s face dropped. Echo hated to say that she missed that smile. “We were,” she muttered. “We dated. For our first three years of college. Before…”

_ Before the accident. _

“Why’d you leave?” Echo asked. “If we were so close, why did you leave?” Echo didn’t remember her years with Lexa, not anything more than vague shadows of a memory, but Echo knew herself. She would never hold a relationship that long if it didn’t mean something. But it had to have meant something. The depth of emotion in Lexa’s face told her that.

And yet she had left.

Lexa only shrugged, unaware of the internal conflict within Echo. “After three years, we had- we had something special. And then you just- wake up and you don’t even remember any of it. Like it never happened.”

“Two years,” Echo murmured. “Two years, and you still couldn’t even try?”

Lexa looked at her with something akin to awe, her eyes brightening. “Maybe this can be another try?”

Another try?

….Did she want another try?

Echo wasn’t sure what to think, after this woman had left her for two years without actually trying, but- she wanted to. She wanted to learn more about Lexa. Learn more about what they once were.

But she didn’t say that. Instead, she summoned up her careless, exasperated voice, and just said “really?”

“Yes.” Lexa gestured behind her. “We can go grab lunch, if you want. At the little café on the corner. You know the one?”

Echo’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Of course.”

Lexa shifted nervously, biting her lip. “So?”

“What if I’m busy?”

Lexa paled slightly, but her response was the same familiar attitude she heard when they first met. “Well, you’re standing here talking to me, so you can’t be that busy.”

Echo was impressed. She liked this woman. “Well played, Woods. Alright then. I’ll accept. Take me on a date, then.”

**21 May 2014**

_ “So what’s your major?” _

_ Echo sat across from Lexa at a small dinner café, the place they’d agreed to a few days ago when Lexa finally asked her out instead of flirty remarks as they passed in the halls. Nothing too fancy, but acceptable enough for a casual date. Echo probably couldn’t have wanted anything better. Extravagance was never her forté, so this was perfect. _

_ “You look like you could be a lawyer, maybe,” Lexa continued, taking a sip of her drink. “Something professional.” _

_ “Spot on,” Echo said, impressed at just how good this woman was at reading her. “You’re good, aren’t you?” _

_ Lexa chuckled. “It’s the confidence. You know what you want and you will fight for it. Good qualities.” _

_ “Didn’t you say that was exactly what made me attractive?” _

_ Lexa smirked. “So I did. A lawyer is a good job. Makes a lot of money. And I bet you’d look sexy in a suit.” _

_ “Maybe if I like you enough you’ll find out.” _

_ “Oh, I know you like me.” Lexa reached across the table, fingers brushing over Echo’s knuckles. “You wouldn’t agree to a date with just anybody.” She hooked her fingers with Echo’s, dragging their hands to her lips so she could press a kiss to Echo’s skin. It was a bold move. Echo couldn’t find it in herself to complain. _

_ Echo hummed. “So you know mine, what’s your major?” _

_ “I’m going for an art degree.” Lexa traced designs over the back of Echo’s hand. “I don’t exactly need a degree for the job I want, but it couldn’t hurt.” _

_ “An artist then?” Echo scanned her up and down, shaking her head. “Not what I would’ve expected from you.” _

_ “Tattoo artist, to be specific.” Lexa gestured to the tribal-looking tattoo on her arm. “I’m still working on filling myself up, but I’m hoping it’ll be easier once I can find a parlor who will hire me.” _

_ “Well aren’t you just full of surprises,” Echo said. “I have to say, tattoo artist is the last thing I expected to hear.” _

_ Lexa let out a breathy laugh. “Most people don’t. Tell me I’m ruining my body. As if I care about their opinion.” _

_ “They look good on you,” Echo found herself saying. Looking at Lexa’s arm, she found herself staring just a bit more than she should. But this woman was honestly stunning. Her skin was a beautiful bronze, and Echo focused on the feeling of their hands weakly tangled. “I’d be curious to see you with full sleeves.” _

_ Lexa grinned. “Maybe if I like you enough you’ll find out.” _

_ And Echo found herself laughing at that. _

_ She didn’t know what it was, but there was just something about this woman that got to her. _

_ But she couldn’t say she was complaining. _

**19 October 2019**

Echo had her arm resting on the table, fingers tracing the outline of a fox head, done with stunning realism in shades of grey. “Did you do these?”

“Most of them.” Lexa herself had shed her jacket, revealing that both arms were now full of ink, just like she had wanted. Echo didn’t know if they’d been done before or after they-  _ broke off _ . “You remember?”

“Not exactly.” Echo shifted, eyes flickering awkwardly between Lexa and the table. And maybe also to Lexa’s arms. What could she say, a full sleeve of tattoos is interesting. And she definitely didn’t find it attractive. “I remember you wanted to be a tattoo artist. Did you ever find a job?”

“I got a position about three years ago.” Echo winced, knowing that meant it was back when they were still together. That she was supposed to know. She hoped Lexa wouldn’t mention it. “I’m still working at the same place. It’s about ten minutes away.”

“Were you going home, then, when we-” 

Lexa shook her head. “No. I’m using this as my lunch break. I don’t exactly have a scheduled break time, considering what I work as, but I just finished with another client.” Lexa hesitated. “I have to say, I did not expect to run into my ex-girlfriend today.”

And so maybe the joke was a bit too soon considering they had just found each other again, but Echo appreciated it. It lightened the air a bit, made her feel easier. Echo found herself smiling. “Wasn’t on my schedule today either. You’ve really thrown me off my rhythm.”

Lexa huffed. “Should I be apologizing?”

Echo shrugged. “You made my day interesting, that’s for sure.”

**2 September 2014**

_ Echo was surprisingly relaxed considering there was a needle being jabbed into her skin. _

It’s not being ‘jabbed,’  _ Lexa liked to remind her every time she said that.  _ It’s more delicate than that. You make it sound crude. 

_ Echo didn’t quite care much for formalities though. _

_ She was being jabbed with a needle. _

_ This wasn’t the first time, so she was more accustomed to the feel of the small needle, easier to relax and let her girlfriend work her magic. Lexa was leaning over her shoulder currently, tracing black ink into her arm with the equipment Lexa had bought. Perhaps doing this in Lexa’s dorm with nothing more than the equipment that a college student could afford wasn’t the best idea, but they never said it was.  _

_ “I like the design you chose,” Echo said, quiet, trying her best not to mess Lexa up. “It’s an interesting idea. Not something you see every day.” _

_ “I chose it for a reason,” Lexa responded, her voice tense as she focused on her work. Echo lolled her head over to look at her. Her face was scrunched in concentration, green eyes shimmering, lower lip between her teeth as she chewed on it. An unconscious habit Echo found slightly adorable. Not that she’d ever admit it. “It has a deeper meaning.” _

_ Echo hummed. “And you didn’t think to tell me?” _

_ “I was curious if you would ask.” _

_ “I’m asking now.” _

_ Lexa chuckled. “It’s a promise. A clock with no hands. There are no beginnings or ends. Nothing but endless time.” Lexa leaned down to press a kiss to Echo’s collar. “Something I hope to have one day.” _

_ Echo felt a flush creeping up into her cheeks, almost shoved it back down, but this was Lexa. “You’re a sap, you know that?” _

_ Lexa smiled at her with such bright happiness that Echo could feel another layer of her cold exterior melting. “You love it.” _

_ And  _ fuck _ , maybe she did. _

**19 October 2019**

Echo stared at the clock on her shoulder, bare of any hands that would actually tell the time. “The clock.”

Lexa smiled sadly. “That one was my favorite.”

“You said it was a promise to me,” Echo muttered. “A promise of forever.”

A promise of forever. God, the thought was both so appealing and yet so terrifying. On one hand, the idea of someone wanting her forever, willing to give all that time to her seems impossible, but also, did Echo really want to spend forever with someone? Did she want to be held down like that? She hadn’t been in any relationships since the accident, but she didn’t know.

Lexa let out a shaky sigh, her lip catching between her teeth. “And I broke it. I know. You don’t need to remind me.”

Echo just stared at the roman numerals on the clock, feeling unknown emotions welling up inside her. Ones that didn’t make sense. But she didn’t want to think about what they meant. “You ever done anything like what you did on me? Like the clock?” 

Lexa tensed, and Echo’s lips twisted as she went to say more. “I won’t be mad if you did, you know. It’s been two years. You’re allowed to move on. Supposed to move on.”

“What if I didn’t?” Lexa whispered. 

Echo froze. 

Lexa continued talking though, unaware of just how much that statement affected Echo. “What if I didn’t move on? What if I’m still caught up on you, my ex-girlfriend who doesn’t even remember me?”

Echo opened her mouth to talk, but nothing came out. Lexa was looking at her with so, so much emotion in her eyes, Echo didn’t know what to do with it. 

_ She still loves me? _

Echo was almost afraid of that. Because she didn’t know how she felt about Lexa. To her, it was almost like they had met for the first time. Love was- too strong an emotion. Echo didn’t know how to handle it. Didn’t remember how to handle it.

“What if I’m different?” She said softly. “What if I’m not the same person you remember?”

“You aren’t,” Lexa answered immediately. “I know you aren’t. You’ve made new memories, met new people, I know you aren’t the same. But you have the same mind. The same heart. You are still Echo. That did not change.”

“And you love Echo.”

Lexa loved the Echo she knew before the accident. And if she was determined to say that they were one and the same, despite having different memories of different lives- what did that mean?

Lexa grimaced. “I- you-” she sighed. “The answer is no, by the way.”

Well, that wasn’t what she expected to hear. “What?”

“To your question.” Lexa nodded to the faceless clock still exposed to the air. “I’ve never done anything like that for someone else. No one but you. Only for you.”

**12 December 2014**

_ Echo had her eyes closed, content to lay beneath the blankets with Lexa’s body emanating heat from behind her, fingers trailing up and down her arm. _

_ This wasn’t what she imagined when she first met the girl. She’d expected maybe a quick fling, possibly dating for a month or so before they ended it. Not this. Not this intense commitment to each other, this affection, this emotion. It was all new to her. She liked it, but it was overwhelming. _

_ It also made her think. _

_ Too much. _

_ “Have you ever thought about what we’ll be?” Echo rasped. Lexa’s hand stilled for a moment before resuming its path up and down Echo’s bare skin. “In the future? If it’ll be like this?” _

_ “I think about it all the time,” Lexa answered, her voice lowered to almost a groan. “I think about it a lot when I’m with you.” _

_ Echo reached up to grab Lexa’s hand, pulling it to tuck against her chest. Lexa tightened her grip, immediately sensing that something was wrong. Echo rarely ever initiated touch like this. Lexa knew physical touch wasn’t Echo’s favorite, so when Echo clung to her like this, she knew something was up. “Echo? What are you thinking about?” _

_ Echo curled tighter into Lexa’s warmth, the feeling of skin-on-skin sending delightful shivers up her spine. “Do you think we’ll still be together? In the future?” _

_ Lexa pressed a kiss to Echo’s shoulder. “Why wouldn’t we be?” _

_ “Might get tired of me.” Echo shrugged. “Always happens.” _

_ “Echo, baby, no.” Lexa shifted up onto her elbows, rolling Echo onto her back. The raw emotion shared between the two of them was almost enough to break down her walls. Lexa leaned down to press a soft kiss to Echo’s lips, vastly different from the passionate ones traded between them two barely a half hour earlier. _

_ “I won’t leave,” she said into Echo’s mouth, breaking off but keeping their foreheads leaned together. “You might not have a family, but that’s what I’m for. I’ll be your family, Echo. For as long as you want me.” Lexa moved over to press a kiss to the clock tattoo on her shoulder. “I promise.” _

_ Echo smiled, keeping her eyes closed for fear of letting the tears out. “You’re going soft for me, Woods.” _

_ Lexa let out a breathy laugh that washed over Echo’s face. “Only for you.” _

**19 October 2019**

“I think I loved you, once.”

Echo shifted in her seat, unable to look Lexa in the eyes. “I- I don’t know if I still do, but I remember. That I did. I did love you.” The emotions that had been swirling in her belly finally had a meaning. Echo didn’t know if they were left over from what had once been, her heart knowing that this was the woman she had loved, or if they were just because of  _ Lexa _ . But she knew that it was love. Or something like it. Affection, maybe. Admiration. She didn’t know. Echo had never been good with feelings.

Lexa’s fingers brushed Echo’s wrist, and she finally looked up into Lexa’s face. Her expression was nothing short of awe, lips parted, green eyes sparkling with so many emotions Echo couldn’t hope to unravel them. The window lighting coming in from behind made her look like she had a halo of light, and Echo wouldn’t be surprised if she had a similar awed look on her own face.

Echo swallowed. “Do you still?” She whispered, moving to hook their fingers together, not holding hands, Echo wasn’t nearly ready for that, but it was something. “Love me?”

Lexa’s face twisted with pain. “I do,” she admitted, squeezing Echo’s finger tightly. “I’ve tried dating, putting myself out there but they- they weren’t the same. They weren’t like you. They weren’t  _ you _ .”

This was far more than Echo had been prepared to handle today, and the turmoil was threatening to overwhelm her. “I’m not the same person I was before. I’m not the same girl that you loved.” If there was anything Echo was afraid of, it was false hope. People expecting things from her that she couldn’t give. She didn’t want Lexa to think there was anything there when there wasn’t.

“I know, Echo,” Lexa reassured, fingers stroking over the back of her palm. “I told you, I know that you aren’t the same person I used to love. But I still love you anyway. And if you can’t love me back- that’s okay. It is. It isn’t your fault. But if you let me-” Lexa stopped, lower lip catching between her teeth before she realized what she was doing. “If you let me, I’m willing to relearn everything there is to know about you. I’ll get to know you again.”

Echo felt something in her unravel. What was it about this woman that just made her cold protection melt? Echo had always been used to the feeling of being unloved, being sidelined, but this woman was willing to commit to her. Even after Echo forgot everything about their past, everything about their future, Lexa was still willing to commit. Lexa was still willing to give herself over to Echo.

_ You don’t let someone like that go _ .

“How do you know I’m willing?” Echo teased, trying to keep the emotions out of her voice. If the way Lexa’s face softened, her fingers loosened, was any indicator, Echo didn’t succeed. Lexa saw right through her. And Echo was almost starting to think that might be a good thing.

“Because even if you aren’t the same,  _ I know you _ , Echo.” Lexa smirked, trying for confident, but to Echo, it just looked  _ happy _ . “You’ve never been able to back down from a challenge.”

Echo raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that challenge?”

Lexa grinned. “Second try?”

_ Second try? _

It made Echo want to cry.

And that was saying something from a woman like herself.

So instead of responding, she just brought Lexa’s hand up to her face, kissing the skin on the back of her hand. Exactly like she remembered Lexa doing to her. And if the way Lexa brightened said anything, Lexa knew too. She knew.

Echo looked at the shining face of Lexa, the way she glowed with happiness as Echo agreed to try to love her again, and she knew.

She would love again. 


End file.
